Choices

It seems I am having to choose more and more between family and my grade. It seems every time I turn around, I'm having to choose. The stress level around here is off the charts. Marc is working literally almost every waking moment. I am either working, doing homework, housework, trying to spend quality time with the kids, or at school literally almost every waking moment. Neither of us have a second to ourselves, much less together, just to RELAX. Four more months. Four. More. Months.

This week, I got a card in the mail letting me know who Harmony's teacher is and that orientation was Friday at 1:45. Marc let me know he had to work. I had to make a choice. Class or meeting Harmony's teacher and making sure Harmony knew where her class was and getting her ready for school to start Monday. Family won out. I have now missed THREE classes this quarter, and AI just cracked down and they are no longer offering make up labs. Each class missed is approximately half of a letter grade. So I am down to a mid B. So much for my 4.0GPA. This is very hurtful to me. I've busted my ass and worked so hard to get and keep that 4.0 and now it's gone. I kind of flipped out the other night with Marc. Not ON Marc, just near him. He had just informed me that he had to work Friday and I started to try to convince him that he indeed did NOT have to work Friday, but after about two sentences I realized the effort was futile. I know he didn't WANT to work Friday. I know he would much RATHER be with the kids. So I stopped. He asked me not to be mad at him. That's when I flipped out.

I told him I am not mad at HIM. I'm mad at the situation. I'm mad that we are both SO BUSY ALL the time. I'm mad that this quarter should be the easiest and most fun quarter and it isn't. I'm mad that I've worked so hard for my 4.0 and it's GONE. I'm mad that the kids are with sitters so much. I'm mad about so much more, but it just goes on and on and on. I finished venting and crying and we just sat there. Then I felt better. We are together. We are working together to make things better for our family, it's just really hard right now. We will make it through, though, and in the big scheme of things, these months will be but a blip.

These lyrics have kind of been my theme since the beginning, but now more than ever. Please ignore the fact that it's Miley Cyrus. haha

"The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb"

week 5

Thursday I prepared the Peach Tres Leches cake. A woman made a tres leches for Chef CJ's baby shower, and it was phenomenal. It happened to be the first time I had ever had it. I know!!!! Crazy. Then we ran a special recently with a tres leches. So I was very excited to actually make it myself. I switched it up a little and brought in pineapple and blueberries to go with it, and flambeed the pineapple with some brown sugar butter. The caramel sauce that resulted was to die for all by itself. I macerated the peaches and berries with spices and vanilla bean. I was very happy with how this turned out.

Friday I chose to prepare the savory crepes with a ricotta and spinach filling. It was to be served with a tomato sauce, and the combination of flavors made me think of a lasagna. This inspired me to make the crepes and cut out circles to fit in ramekins so I could make mini lasagna appetizers with crepes substituted for the noodles. I fried up some shallots, thyme, and basil for garnish, along with roasting some cherry tomatoes with herbs. I added a couple things to a portion of the cheese mixture and made it into balls which I coated in seasoned flour and fried as a garnish, as well. I adored these. Apparently everyone else did, too, because the four I made were gone very quickly. I couldn't decide on one presentation so I did two.

Week 4

I chose the Reconstructed Lemon Egg by Michel Richard to tackle on Day 1 of Week 4. Basically, the original version uses an egg topper to take the top off an egg, and then you fill it with meringue and lemon curd so it looks like a...well, a reconstructed egg.

I, of course, have to be different. I made a version for the adults and a version for the kids, just for fun. For the adult version, I chose to cut the egg in half lengthwise instead of to take the top off. I wanted it to look more like a deviled egg, although some said it turned out more like the inside of a Cadbury egg. Either way, I like how it turned out. The flavor was delicious, too, and it was nice to have such a small portion so it wasn't so full of guilt.

The kid version is more of an Easter theme. I dyed the eggs after I cut the tops off, and then used a special tool Chef has to make "Easter grass" out of pears. I think it turned out cute. None of my eggs were left at the end of class, as they were all eaten. Quickly.

Day 2 of week 4 I forgot to bring the memory card for the camera so I didn't get photos, unfortunately. I made ricotta and artichoke "dumplings" that went with a bed of arugula. I then shaved some artichoke hearts and fried them for some artichoke chip garnish. I definitely need more practice with the artichokes. The first batch I didn't cook long enough and they came out very tough. The second batch came out better, but I think I need more practice in trimming them, for sure, as I had to pull more leaves off even after they were cooked.

Then the artichokes were diced and mixed with ricotta and parmesan and an egg...sort of like a lasagna/stuffed shell mixture. Then they were made into quenelles and frozen, rolled in a seasoned flour mixture, and fried. Oh. My. Goodness. Those little bites were absolutely amazing. I definitely want to make those again.

As much as I am enjoying this class, I am so, so, so, sooooo ready to be graduated from school and able to spend a little more time with my kids. I hate, hate, HATE not seeing them very much, and I know it's about to get worse once Harmony starts back to school. I hate not being able to make sure my kids are eating healthy, because I know they aren't eating the way I want when they are not at home. I hate not being able to give them consistent discipline, because right now they have three sets of rules...one at home and one for each of the sitters. I know it's confusing for them and frustrating for Marc and I. I need our family to be a functioning unit, but right now that isn't exactly how it is. Something needs to give, but there isn't a single thing that CAN right now. Four more months. Gotta make it through FOUR more months. Then we are SO having a party to celebrate.

Art Culinaire, week 3

I've found that I enjoy creating the one or two bite course that is the amuse bouche. Dessert is still my number one favorite dish to create, but the amuse bouche is definitely my second favorite.

Thursday I prepared a Gorgonzola Stuffed Fig with Prosciutto. The recipe called for wrapping the fig with the prosciutto and roasting it, but I chose to create a rose out of it instead. I cut circles out of the prosciutto and made the rose in the same way you make a rose out of gum paste. I secured the bottom of the rose with wooden skewers and deep fried it. The petals fell open a bit as it fried, and I love how it turned out. I placed the rose in the center of the fig, which I cut partially into three segments to be the "leaves." I love the presentation, but wasn't too fond of the flavor. Gorgonzola is just not my favorite cheese. Combine that with the Balsamic Vinegar Reduction and it's just a combination that made my tastebuds go, "Blech!"

Friday, however, I prepared a Chile Chocolate Sorbet. I took an orange and removed all the insides of it, cut a decorative edge, and then simmered the shell in the chiles and simple syrup before I added the cocoa powder to the mixture. I froze the shell, then, so the container would keep the sorbet nice and chilled. We didn't have Chile Chocolate, so we added some cayenne to the mixture to give it that kick. I also chose to add cinnamon and ground cloves to mine which gave it an added depth of flavor. I had no idea a sorbet, which doesn't include a single drop of cream or butter, could come out so incredibly rich and decadent.

As a garnich, I made my "famous" sugar cookies in several shapes so I could choose what I liked the best and decided to go with the leaves. I LOVE how this presentation came out!!

Harmony's Birthday!

I know, I know. I didn't post last week, but I have a valid excuse. I didn't go to class.

Thursday OR Friday.

*gasps of disbelief here*

I decided that being with my family was MORE important than going to school. And for the first time I hardly felt guilty. My daughter was turning 6 years old, and our schedules are so busy that the best time for the party was on Friday at 10AM. My husband's mother was going to be coming in Thursday around noon, and my brother in law was coming in Thursday evening around 7PM. I figured I could bake the cake Wednesday night, work on the cake Thursday and then go to class, and then finish Thursday night if I needed to. I probably could have handled JUST that and had things go as planned but, as usual, I just HAVE to make things challenging for myself. Marc's other brother was supposed to be coming up sometime Friday, and his birthday was the day before Harmony's, so I wanted to make him a cake, too. I also had a guest coming who is on a dairy and gluten free diet, so I wanted to provide her with a treat, too.

So, three cakes. Before leaving for class at 1:45. Right.

I decided on a flourless chocolate cake for the gluten/dairy free guest. This is best warm out of the oven, in my opinion, so I decided to wait and bake that off Friday right before the party. I baked Harmony's cake's, filled, and dirty iced them Wednesday night. I made the fondant and cut the base, covered and stacked, and added all final touches to Harmony's cakes Thursday morning. I finished around 1PM. Marc's mother got in fairly early, so she helped entertain the kiddos. Marc asked me to stay home from school, and I had so much to do that I finally, after several suggestions of doing so, stayed home from class. I made and baked Nick's cake Thursday night, then wrapped and put them in the fridge to keep until I was ready for them. When I learned that Nick would be in Friday evening, I decided to finish the cake the next night.

Friday morning I made the flourless chocolate cake. I substituted unsweetened, all natural applesauce for the butter in the recipe. It only required chocolate, sugar, applesauce, and eggs. It turned out wonderfully. I baked four of them in ramekins so she could just have her own dessert. I unfortunately didn't get a photo of these. :(

Harmony LOVES dinosaurs, and she has really been wanting the Ned the Brachiosaurus car for her Dinosaur Train toy she got for Christmas. Dinosaur Train is a show on PBS, for those of you unaware. I keep getting people without young children commenting on my photos on facebook going, "Cute cake, but why dinosaurs and trains? I don't get it." This video explains the premise of the show in a rockin' intro song. haha



So I used her toy train and tracks to surround the cake and added a gift of Ned the Brachiosaurus to the train as a surprise. The cake itself was the scenery from the show, places they visit, with the train station at the base of the cake. There is a volcano in the show, along with the "Big Pond" and a waterfall.

The interior of the cake was two flavors. The bottom layer was alternating layers of devil's food cake with graham cracker swirls, milk chocolate cake, and a layer of melted marshmallows mixed with graham cracker crumbs with mini marshmallows sandwiched between. The top tier was, upon Harmony's request, a mint chocolate cake with peppermint buttercream. It was SO. GOOD. A new favorite of mine, for sure. Here is a picture of the interior of the cake.

I also made her a birthday shirt with a brachiosaurus and a number 6 on it. She picked out the shirt that she wanted it made from. I decided to add a bow to the dinosaur and I LOVE how it came out!!! This was a HUGE week for Harmony, too. Grandma Carleen and Uncle Chris coming in, she lost her first tooth Thursday night, too, AND she finally saved up enough money by doing chores around the house and with her birthday money, to buy this GIANT T-rex she saw at Big Air when we went a few weeks ago. It was $39.99. That's alot of money for a little kid to save up!!! We were so stinkin' proud of her, and she was extremely proud of herself, too. Here she is, in her birthday shirt, lost tooth, with her T-rex.

This girl...this girl is my world. She is why I am doing what I am doing and why I am the person I am today. I love giving her a day where everything is for HER. She is such a wonderful kid and she follows the rules and is polite and SO sweet, I love being able to give her a day where she can eat as much sugar as she wants and can be spoiled by all the people that love her.

Friday evening, we went to Nipper's for dinner. Then the boys went fishing and Marc's mom hung out with me while I finished Nick's cake...moments before he got there. Haha. I was SO tired and worn out and just OVER cake decorating by that time of day that this isn't my best work on the top. Plus I used the last bit of powdered sugar I had and ran super low on icing with no time or energy to procure more. Marc's brother ADORE'S Wicked, so in honor of that I iced and filled the cake with lime green buttercream with a "Wicked" top. A long time ago I saw a cake that was rainbow layers inside and I immediately wanted to make that cake for Nick. I love how it came out, and he was completely surprised and thrilled.

So that is why I missed class Thursday and Friday. In the end, family is much more important than a grade.

Quarter SEVEN

Quarter seven is now underway. I am only taking Art Culinaire and my Internship this quarter. Since I only have 18 credits left, they are split up 9 and 9. I really think I am going to enjoy Art Culinaire. It is taught by the same teacher as Garde Manger, which makes me happy and slightly nervous at the same time. Other than Chef CJ, which taught me more than I can tell you about pastry, I think Chef Thompson has taught me the most practical information, not only about cooking but about presentation. He does not mince words and he will tell you straight up that something sucks...in front of everyone. Normally this would make me dislike someone, but he's so friggin' funny aside from that, that I tend to forgive him pretty quickly when he critiques harshly. He's usually right, anyways.

Art Culinaire, for those who are not familiar with it, is the study of current successful (by this I mean in the top 1% of Chefs) Chefs in cities across America that are known for their culinary delights. This week we were in New York City, and we were learning about and cooking food from Chefs such as Tom Collichio, Nobuyuki Matsuhisa, Jacques Torres, Terrance Brennan, Marcus Samuelsson, and Jean-Georges Vongerichten. Each day, our group prepares an Amuse Bouche, an Appetizer, and Entree, and a Dessert. We have ample time to focus on presentation as that is one of the main components of this class. We are nearing the end of our culinary journey. We know the basics. We SHOULD know something beyond the basics. Our hands are not being held anymore. Now it is time to push ourselves and work on excellence. We haven't come this far to look like we are putting out food from Denny's.

The first day, I prepared a raspberry souffle. I'd made souffles before, but this recipe was a little different. Chef swore up and down that these souffles would not fall after they came out of the oven. I took a picture before I pulled them out anyways because one of the dramatic thrills of souffles is how puffy they are when they first come out of the oven. This is also why they have to be served literally IMMEDIATELY out of the oven.

It didn't collapse as much as most souffles do, but it still fell slightly. I loved the crunchy texture of the top and sides of the souffle that this recipe produced, as well as the immensely light texture. It was almost like a personal serving of angel food cake. I dusted the tops with cocoa powder instead of powdered sugar and I enjoyed the contrast it gave.

I don't want to hijack ALL the desserts this quarter. Again, I want to push myself out of my comfort zone at least one of the two days every week. Day two I created an amuse bouche of fried lotus chips with tuna and white fish. I created several different platings that I had sketched out prior to class. I had so much fun with this dish.

One piece of tuna I decided to season and sear to give it added flavor and color. I also curled the lotus slice into a cylinder and secured it with a wooden skewer prior to frying.

For the second plating, I chose to thinly slice the tuna and roll it up, securing it with a chive.

Finally, I used a flat fried lotus chip as a base and fried a quartered lotus chip to give height. I also candied a lemon rind to give color and to play off the yuzu miso sauce that went with the white fish.

Next week on day two I have already chosen to prepare pumpkin cheesecake with a pumpkin seed brittle. I'm hoping to prepare the black pepper tagliatelle with parsnips and pancetta as an appetizer on day one.

Now THIS Is Life!!!

The last couple of weeks have been completely, utterly, totally fabulous. I have been able to spend real, QUALITY time with the kids. I have easily fallen back into the life of a stay at home mom, with work on the weekends. It's the best of both worlds, really. I have had 4ish days of hanging with the kiddos and just when we start to get tired of each other, we get a break. They get to spend time with our two amazing and almost family-like sitters, and I get to go spend time with other adults and make some money. Just when I'm starting to get ridiculously tired and missing the kids like crazy, my "work week" is over and I get to be home with my favorite people in the world again.

Now THIS is life!!!


On the 4th we had Banana Splits.....for DINNER!!!

We've built a zoo...

Spent some time dancing as Princesses...
(sorry it's sideways)


Made ice cream and toppings out of Play Doh...


And my always creative, ALMOST 6 year old made a chair out of Tinkertoys and filled it with books so her animals could ACTUALLY sit on it.

And of course, I can't forget my TOP favorite person in the world, my hubby. We've had juuuuuuust enough nights together and apart where we still savor the time we have together, but we aren't feeling crazy because we don't get enough time together or alone. It's been a pretty good balance, in my opinion. I know my husband would probably disagree because on HIS end he's been working his heiny off on a new venture he is working on right now. It's all going to be worth it in the end...we are feeling very hopeful for our future right now. Finally.

Too bad I go back to school this week. Only 6 more months and this WILL be life. I can't wait!!